Secret Cow Level

What's this Cow Level thing all about?

Well, since the day the game was released, people have tried to figure out what the heck those cows were for. You can highlight them and click on them, but other than a few witty lines from your characters, that seems to be it. Diligent spirits said there had to be more and they were right. A lot of critics simply tried the brute force method, or Death of a Thousand Clicks as we Cow Levelors like to call it, and this simply doesn't work, so they went off moaning and whining that the Secret Cow Level does not exist. Due to the unusual and difficult nature of accessing the Cow Level, it has obtained the status of myth now, and many people have abandoned any hope of unearthing this Easter Egg. That is why I put up this site. I have had more fun in the Cow Level than any other game aspect and I wanted to share that fun with other players. I hope you have enjoyed your visit here, and I hope you have fun in the cow level and getting to it. If you try some of these methods and they just prove too frustrating, then I would suggest going back to the regular game. If it's not going to be fun for you why do it? It is a game after all, not a quest for the Holy Well, since the day the game was released, people have tried to figure out what the heck those cows were for. You can highlight them and click on them, but other than a few witty lines from your characters, that seems to be it. Diligent spirits said there had to be more and they were right. A lot of critics simply tried the brute force method, or Death of a Thousand Clicks as we Cow Levelors like to call it, and this simply doesn't work, so they went off moaning and whining that the Secret Cow Level does not exist. Due to the unusual and difficult nature of accessing the Cow Level, it has obtained the status of myth now, and many people have abandoned any hope of unearthing this Easter Egg. That is why I put up this site. I have had more fun in the Cow Level than any other game aspect and I wanted to share that fun with other players. I hope you have enjoyed your visit here, and I hope you have fun in the cow level and getting to it. If you try some of these methods and they just prove too frustrating, then I would suggest going back to the regular game. If it's not going to be fun for you why do it? It is a game after all, not a quest for the Holy Grail (though that lies somewhere in the secret levels as well!)

Getting into the Secret Cow level is more than a matter of clicking on those three cows a few hundred times. Some methods require updated drivers or .DAT files, while most require only the knowledge and willingness to keep trying. Of all the difficulties you will face getting in, the single most overlooked factor is that some methods only work on certain Easter Egg type dates, while others will work most of the time, provided you get the luck of the draw that comes with that particular method. If it were easy, everyone would be in there, but if you like strange evil creatures and tough challenges, the Cow Level is where it's at!

The following is only a sampling of some of the entry methods, and I will try to update these with others. If you have a favorite method for getting in, send me an Email. Please don't send any Email saying that these methods don't work, as I have used all of them at one time or another, for example: the method that is coded for Halloween certainly won't work if you are trying to get in on May 3rd, but it is still a valid method. Many of the Easter Egg dates have other working times too, and I'm sure I haven't found all the dates, but I will leave that much of it up to you to discover.

I

The First method is often called the Good Friday method, though some have reported success with it on Earth Day as well. Under the decrypted code it shows as "The Path of Non-Violence" so there are probably a lot of undiscovered days that this works on. To get in: You must use a Golem to kill everything from level one to level 16, and then you must get the final death blow on Diablo (after Golem pounding) with a single Holy bolt.

(As I said, many of these methods will be darn difficult. Perhaps the programmers wanted a challenge that would never grow easy)

II

Usually just called Naj’s Puzzler, or the Puzzle, this one has no known fixed dates. To get in: You must work your way from Level 1 to 15 killing all unique monsters, but you can’t walk, you can only use the teleport charges. When you go down the Pentagram with charge number 69, you will enter the cow level. Note that it helps quite a bit to have a second player as a guide to tell you where to teleport, but make sure the other players do not kill any unique monsters.

III

Most experienced Cow Level players call this one "Oz". This method is more item, than date based, so it requires some luck as well as effort. To get in: You must create a Rogue named Dorothy. Should you ever FIND a Ruby Ring of Zodiac, in a game that SHE has created, put it on your LEFT hand/finger. NEVER take this off (if you get killed, it's over. Now all you have do is do find A Ruby Ring of Harmony. Put this on her right hand/finger. These are the Ruby Slippers (there is some debate over whether the "slippers" need to be perfect, but I don't think they need to be). Right Click three times (and type "There’s no place like Hell" after first and second click. On the third click you will be taken to the cow level.

IV

This one is known as Gray Matters, and it reactivates the Map of the Stars that was taken out after the Beta-demo. To get in: In Nightmare solo mode, first-do not disturb ANY bodies, sarcophagi, or cows! As soon as you have Talked to Gillian and have the grave matters quest showing, you must use a scroll of ID on the body lying in front of the church. Now equipped only with an ID’d Cranium basher, and ID’d Gotterdamerung you must kill Sir Gorash, ID the item he drops and equip that (If its a helm or weapon you are out of luck-shield too unless you are a barbarian). Now go back up and kill the butcher. (Don’t pick up the item he drops.) Cast a town portal from his room and step through it, until you can see that the body by the church is gone. Now go back down the portal and search the Bodies and Sarcophagi, until a scroll pops out that says map of the stars. Go up to town. Right click on it, and then toss it out by the large grave by the Crypt. Now, Right click on the Map of the Cathedral. Then toss this so it lands adjacent to the Map of the stars. You should see a duplicate item being destroyed message. When you look down at the ground there should be a unique scroll that says "Map-not identified". Pick it up and right click. You will see the map of the Cathedral again, but one of the graves will be marked "Hoffa". Go to this grave and leave an offering of 13 gold and then leave an ID scroll on every other grave in town. Now go talk to Cain and have him ID the map. He will say: "It is grim that you have learned too much"...Blah Blah Blah, and then Griswold will appear syaing "Aye, now we’ll ‘ave to throw you in the river." The screen will go blue for a second, and then you will appear upstream standing at the corner of the world. When you step off the corner, you will go through a red portal into the Cow level.

V

One of the more popular ones, but extremely rare to come across is the "Midnight Bovine Intrusions" method. If you are fortunate enough to see this show up, it's not really very hard to get in: Ever notice that Gillian will say "My grandmother had a dream" a LOT. Pay attention, because when she says "I had a dream" then you have a chance. Do NOT move or leave her. Just keep clicking on her gossip, until she tells you "I had a nightmare, really" and then she goes on to explain about the midnight bovine intrusions,and how she woke up with the smell of cattle in her house. Now you must type in "Good Day, How may I help you" She will answer that she needs to get the smell out, but is out of water, and ask if you can fetch some from the rain barrel by the shack over by the church. As soon as Gillian is off the screen, you will hear a scream. When you go back to Gillian's hut you will see that she is gone, and that there is a large gaping hole in the side of her house. Step through this to enter the cow level and save Gillian.

VI

Best known as the Labrynth, the Spiral Wormhole may sound easier than it is. It will take an awful lot of Stone Curse, Berserk, Lighting and Telekinesis. This one begins on level 16 and though I have had planty of people claim St Patrick's day as a working time, I have never been able to use it on that day. To get in: Once you are down on 16 (everyone must take the stairs) there is no coming up. First all the advocates must die in the center of the spiral. Now each player must cast a town portal in the center of the spiral. Now, all knights except Sir Goarsh and the Black Knight must die in the cruciform room (above Diablo’s playpen). Then, the Black Knight must kill Sir Gorash in the first room (Use lots of lightning, but let Black knight get in the death blow). Now The Black Knight must kill Diablo while Diablo and all the players are standing on the pentragram (again, lightning is your ally!). When Diablo dies, you will see a bone spirit leave each character and fly east towards the town portals in the spiral room. The blue portal screen will come up, and when you emerge you will be in the cow level.

VII

One of my personal favorites, The Tomb of the Unknown Warrior, remains a challenge even when you have mastered the other Cow Levels. This one is for 3 players, with characters specifically named. To get in: You will need a warrior named Larry, a sorceror named Curly, and a Rogue named Mo (no E on that!). First load up on Resurrection scrolls! One player stays in town (That player must have stone curse and Rez hot keyed and ready to go) This player must get over where the hidden grave by Wirt is almost in sight. The other two players go down and alternate killing and rezing each other (doesn’t matter who dies or who rezes). What they are trying to do is get the beam of resurection to pass up where it is visible in town. The very INSTANT that this beam passes through the hidden grave, the player in town must cast stone curse. (Yes, Stone Curse will work but ONLY for the instant that the beam goes through the grave, and if the cursor is aimed at the correct direction of the grave it will work. If sucessful, they will see a man’s shadow slip away from the grave and over the rocks to the south. This won’t last long, qo quickly cast resurrect on the shadow. A body will appear and slump over. If you move the cursor over the body it will say "Tremain". Now, go talk to Cain. He will give you a speech about Tremain, and then tell you to go to Adria to get the Salve of Hope to heal Tremain. Adria will sell you the salve (Better have 50K ready!) When you head back to Tremain’s body, the corpse will be gone. Go back into town, and Tremain will be standing in front of his hut, directly across from Pepin. Talk to him. Now the two players in the dungeon should town portal up. Tremain will tell you the horrible story about what happened to him and ask you to stop these fiendish cows. He will then tell you that you cannot take any items with you. Then he notices the salve. He says you may use the salve to anoint one of each item type (only one ring, but you may have one bow, one sword, one mace) to take with you (not for each player-one total!). after doing this, leave the other items in town, and then step into the black portal behind tremain’s house. There is no coming to town for items with this version, it is strictly iron man style, except for your levels and the seven items.

VIII

This one is fairly recent, and I am proud to be the one who actually discovered it. Known as the Ring of Old Wives’ tales, it doesn't pop up often, but it's a heck of a lot easier than most of the others. To get in: You must find two Rings of Engagement in the same game-This only works for the game that you found the rings in. If you find the first one, go up to Gillian and drop your ear and a ring of engagement (unidentified) at her feet. You haev to do this now-NOT later! Now you must find another ring of engagement in the same game. Take this second one and drop it in front of Gillian. If you are lucky enough to see a duplicate item message (game duped-not trainer or character duped!) then proceed. Talk to Gillian, she will say, "I’m sorry, but I can’t accept it. It may just be an old wives tale, but a man who would cut his ear off just to avoid being scorned by his wife is a buffoon and a fool!" You will see her drop the ring that was supposedly just destroyed as a duplicate. Now take this and have it indentified. You will see that it is the Ring of Old Wives Tales. Now go talk to Adria and she will give you a quest to complete to get into the cow level. This will use one of the rings 5-20 charges, whether you complete the quest and get in, or not. It cannot be recharged. The quests are random, some easy, some difficult. The nice things is that any time a game is created while the Ring of Old Wives' Tales is equipped, Adria will offer a quest to get into the Cow Level (and using a charge). If the ring is ever dropped, or transfered to another character, it will again become an ordinary Ring of Engagement.

IX

The Fool's Gold method is also called the Idiot's Elixir, and Got Poison? It's not difficult at all, and it doesn't seem to be date dependant-although you'll have better luck in the wee hours of the mormning than in the day. To get in: Your single player character must be equipped with Fool’s Crest and Gnarled root (other equipment shouldn't matter) and then you need to create new games until you have poisoned water quest. Click on the cows until your character says, "I’m not thirsty". Now go down to clear out the poisoned water quest. Now cast a town portal on the far side of the lake. Kill all the creatures so that the water changes color. One of the creatures should have dropped a potion with gold lettering (it's not unique, just poisoned). Drink this, and immediately click escape/save game. You character will then rapidly die from the poison. Reload the game, and you will be in town. Take the portal down, and you will be in the cow level. If no gold text potion is found than the order of clicking the cows (To get: "I’m not thristy") was not right-It is a random order, so don’t expect to get it on the first or second try.

X

Ever wondered if some of the speeches weren't tied in to Easter Eggs? While most were simply unfinished quests, the Warrior of Light method is one that was never removed. To get in: Equip all light giving gear (all seven items-uniques ARE allowed) and go down and kill everything except Sir Gorash and Diablo. You cannot die during this time, nor change gear. Now Diablo and Sir Gorash must die at the exact same time (fire wall can be good). If they drop duplicate items and you see the "duplicate item message" than the cow level will be triggered when you hit new game.

XI

This one is the antithesis of the aforementioned Warrior of Light, and although it seems innocuous enough, it can lock up your machine if you are using a version earlier than 1.07. Known as theHeart of Darkness, it is a solo multiplayer method and you must do the following to get in: Name your character Diablo. Now, before you have any experience points, you must kill yourself, so that you drop a zero XP ear. Leave this ear where it is. Now kill everything in the dungeon except Diablo’s room. Open his room and lure all the monsters out so that all kills are made outside his room (It’s important that the pentagram room is kept clean). With yourself and Diablo in the pentagram, cast a town portal (inside the pentagram) and go up. Go get your ear (and get ready for game to be over) Identiyf the ear so that it becomes a heart. Now go click ONCE on one cow. Take your pick (1/3 chance of being right) Now go down the portal, drop the "Heart of Diablo" in the pentagram, and before you or Diablo leaves the pentagram, you must slay him. When the end cut video ends, you will see the screen go totally black (but your mouse cursor will be there) Move the cursor and click until you find the stairway down into the cow level. It's important to NOT open inventory, cast spells, or do anything else in the darkness but move or you will crash the game!

XII

Very few of the methods to get in require anything but the regular game, but Spamquest is one of them. This requires that you have V&K's final mod (see the AGD Webring and links section for a URL to download it). Once you have this downloaded and installed you must do the following to get in: Enter the hive until you see an angry Diablo. Do NOT stone curse or attack it, but rather town portal out of there. Now, while in town, begin flooding the screen with random text (must be typed in, not repeatedly clicked) When you have "spammed" the screen long enough, the Anrgy Diablo will come running up the town portal and attack everyone in town. Again, you must avoid stone cursing or attacking him. Wait by the cows. When Angry Diablo comes over and Apocs the cows, a pink portal will appear and the cows will escape through it. Follow them through to get to the cow level. This cow level will have more than the usual amount of silly stuff in it.

XIII

Tedious, but simple, Arkaine's Pallor is best known as Gold Digger and the most important thing during this method is to NEVER drop OR move the bloostones once they are in inventory. To get in: Collect 39 NON duped bloodstones (best if a mixture of #1, #2, #3 Bloodstones) The 40th Bloodstone you collect should be gold (in color and lettering) Take this gold bloodstone and drop it on Lazarus Altar (do not kill anyone in his final room until this is done) Now kill them all, Lazarus last. The red portal back should take you to the cow level. (If it doesn’t, or you fail to get the gold bloodstone, drop all 40 and see if one of them is a dupe).

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